Is this Jesus?

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,12228773^663,00.html

This is supposedly based on the alleged hoax called the Shroud of Turin. More recent carbon dating has lent (pardon the seasonal pun) newfound credibility to its possible genuineness.

But I don't much think The Lord looked like this at all as a boy. This sketch bears no resemblance to any of the boyhood photos of the Lord Dubya I've seen.

And here I thought the "Eye-talians" were one of our few remaining allies in The War on Terra.

I learned from this article that I am slightly taller and about five pounds heavier than whoever it was the Shroud shrouded. It took me a minute to figure this out since the measurements were given in the metric system. To be more biblically correct, they should have used "cubits" for his height. And I think the weights were in "talents" back then. That wouldn't sound right, though, to say I am slightly more talented than Jesus. Sounds too much like John Lennon.

However, I would say that--in general and on average--the population of the United States is more talented than it ever has been. Americans may in fact be the most talented tubsters on the planet. I think I've finally figured out why Rush Limbaugh always mentions his "talent on loan from God."